Practicing Active Bystander Behavior
We know what it looks like when people don’t step in.
Jesse’s story starts there.
On the night he was hit, there were people close enough to see he was in trouble. No one called 911. That gap sits at the heart of why we talk about active bystander behavior at all.
We are not experts. We are a mother, a sister, and a family trying to name what was missing that night and point people toward tools that might change the next one.
What “Active Bystander” Really Means
A bystander is anyone who’s there.
An active bystander is someone who decides, “I’m not just watching this.”
Most groups who teach this talk about the same basic steps:
Notice that something is off.
Decide you have some responsibility.
Choose one way to help.
Do it.
For Jesse’s story, that “one way” should have been simple: call 911 and stay with him.
A Few Questions to Carry With You
If you are at a party, in a field, on a street, and your stomach drops, try walking through this in your head:
What am I actually seeing right now?
If nothing changes, what do I think will happen next?
Can I act myself, or do I need help?
What is one small thing I can do?
Sometimes that one thing is a phone call.
Sometimes it is speaking up.
Sometimes it is getting someone with more power or training to step in.
You don’t have to fix everything. You do have to care enough to move.
Places That Can Help You Learn and Practice
We’re not going to build our own full training. Other people already do that well. Our job is to point you toward them.
Below are some places to start.
1. Training Active Bystanders (TAB) – Massachusetts
Training Active Bystanders, often called TAB, works with schools, organizations, and community groups across Massachusetts.
Their workshops focus on situations people may actually encounter. A group setting where something starts to feel unsafe. A moment when someone is clearly in trouble but the room goes quiet. TAB trainers talk through what people notice in those situations and what options exist for stepping in.
Participants practice small actions that can interrupt harm or bring attention to what is happening.
2. Boston Active Bystanders – Local Workshops
Boston Active Bystanders offers in-person workshops focused on everyday situations: harassment on the T, tense encounters in public, moments when someone looks unsafe and everyone else goes quiet.
Their site lists current and past workshops and contact details if you want to host one for your school, congregation, or neighborhood.
3. Massachusetts De-Escalation and Active Bystander Training Directory
This directory pulls together different de-escalation and active-bystander trainings around Massachusetts, including TAB and other programs.
It’s especially useful if you’re an educator, organizer, or town official trying to find options in one place. The link opens a PDF with short descriptions and contact information for each provider.
4. Right To Be – 5Ds of Bystander Intervention
Right To Be teaches the “5Ds” of bystander intervention: direct, distract, delegate, document, delay.
They offer free online trainings and clear guides with examples for each option. The page you’ll land on explains the 5Ds in plain language and lets you sign up for live sessions.
5. LoboRESPECT Active Bystander Guide
This guide breaks active bystandership into a simple path: notice, recognize it as a problem, take responsibility, decide how to help, and act.
The examples focus on campus life, but the steps apply anywhere. It’s a short read that works well as a handout or discussion starter.
6. OHSU Active Bystander Strategies (PDF)
OHSU’s handout offers four basic strategies: be direct, get help, distract and defuse, delay and follow up.
Each one comes with everyday examples. It’s easy to print, share with teens, or build into a quick conversation at school or practice.
7. Teens for Courage – For Young People
Teens for Courage writes directly to teenagers. They use a C.A.R.E. frame: create a distraction, ask directly, refer to an adult or authority, enlist other people.
It’s short, concrete, and made for middle- and high-school readers.
8. 5 Ways for Teens to Be a Healthy Bystander
This page from the Fairfax, VA county family-services office offers five simple examples of what healthy bystander behavior looks like when you see bullying, harassment, or risky situations.
It’s a quick list you can share with your kids, students, or team as a starting point.
How This Ties Back to Jesse’s Law
Jesse’s Law focuses on one thing: calling 911 when someone is in a life-threatening medical emergency. That’s the piece we believe must be written into Massachusetts law.
Active bystander behavior is the bigger picture around it. It’s the practice that can make that call—and other small, brave choices—more likely when it counts.
If Jesse’s story stays with you, let it nudge you toward at least one of these resources. Learn a framework. Share it. Talk about it with the young people in your life. The next decision may not feel big in the moment, but we know how much it can matter.